This entry is dedicated to someone very dear to me.
To my Dani:
I flew seven thousand miles to come see you
All I wanted, needed, was to see your face again
To sit with you, to laugh with you, to be with you
To tell you how much I have loved you in all my years
But fate stole this chance away from me,
And in my heart, I scream, I cry, I beg, I call your name
But all I hear are the echoes of my own agonizing bleeding heart
The impalpable abyss of this mortal coil
Lonely, sad and enslaved by excruciating grief
I yearn for your voice, the familiar sweet voice of impenetrable love
Just one more chance, one more day, one more hour with you
If I could avenge fate, I would
I would fight for you,
Feel the pain for you,
Hold your hands,
Carry you through it all
But I know you're in a better place
A safer place, a quiet place
A place where all the angels welcome you with celestial joy.
I flew seven thousand miles to come say goodbye
Because even in death, I still loved you, will always Love you, Forever.
R. I. P GrandMa. I Will Always Love You. 4.2.2012.
A song Dedication to my Dani:
Be Still--The Fray.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Month THREE: Astute Observer
The month of April turned me into an Astute Observer.
HENNA! My love for henna dates way back, before my quest for knowledge of everything natural hair began. When I was young I remember
Hair + Henna:
The benefit of Henna on hair is many of which I cannot begin to summarize because I'm feeling a little lazy, you'll have to forgive me. It's 3 am in the morning and I'm still up updating my hair journey, I'm bound to leave some details out as my mind cannot cooperate to recall accurate details. But, lucky for you, I have a link! www.mehandi.com. This website has extensive information about the benefits of henna on hair, the types of henna and best henna for hair. It is very VERY important to familiarize yourself with types of henna before using it on your hair, or skin for that matter. Not all hennas are created equal, some henna have harmful dye that can be cause adverse consequences to health. However, when choosing henna for your hair, the best thumb of rules is to look for Body Art Quality Henna. BAQ. This type of henna is 100% pure, with no harmful dyes added. If you can use it on your body, you can sure use it on your hair...again, don't quote me on this, do your own research and draw your own conclusions...Happy Henna!
Mixing Henna: There are many ways to do this I guess, but I decided to use the instructions I got from the Mehandi. com website. I simply just use Lemon Juice, and i can't remember whether I added honey or not, probably not. Anyways, i mixed the henna with lemon juice and let it sit over night in the oven, (the oven should be OFF). Why oven, because it's warm and because well, I just like it in the oven. The dye should release within a couple of hours, I always like to take that extra mile and let mine sit for 8 hours. This is not necessary. I apply the henna before going to bed and wrap my henna head in a plastic cap. If you check out youtube, there are many natural beautis who can show you very well how this done. So if you prefer visual directions, check out youtube.
Henna head:
It looks like I have cow dung on my head...
After- Henna.
Henna turns the hair red, i don't know if you can see the red very well but out in the sun, the red shines brightly like a candle. well, maybe not that bright but you get the point.... :) And, I should also mention that Henna is very good for hair,
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Month TWO: Actualized Ideals.
Hello Beautiful
The month of March was a month of actualized ideals. I could not wait to take out my Kinky extensions, and after 4 weeks of having them in, I took them out. I starting embracing my short twa more, and everyday I would try doing a twist out, even though it was too short to hold. I told myself that my hair was actually growing, and it was! This is the month I deeply convinced myself that I can do this, that my hair WILL grow. I learned about pH balance and the use of apple cider vinegar, I learned that tis better to wash hair with cold water than hot water. Why? because cold water closes the cuticle layer and this in turn prevents breakage. However, do not quote me on this, do your own research and when you come to the same conclusion, then sure, quote me on it!
Month Two Pics:
I should not fail to mention that doing this took me 4 hours! Only to take it out two days later to try a style I saw on youtube, EPIC FAIL...but I keep learning.
The month of March was a month of actualized ideals. I could not wait to take out my Kinky extensions, and after 4 weeks of having them in, I took them out. I starting embracing my short twa more, and everyday I would try doing a twist out, even though it was too short to hold. I told myself that my hair was actually growing, and it was! This is the month I deeply convinced myself that I can do this, that my hair WILL grow. I learned about pH balance and the use of apple cider vinegar, I learned that tis better to wash hair with cold water than hot water. Why? because cold water closes the cuticle layer and this in turn prevents breakage. However, do not quote me on this, do your own research and when you come to the same conclusion, then sure, quote me on it!
Month Two Pics:
I should not fail to mention that doing this took me 4 hours! Only to take it out two days later to try a style I saw on youtube, EPIC FAIL...but I keep learning.
Month ONE: Antagonistic Views.
Hello Beautiful
You know what, I was going to start this post by SO...but I have decided to get into the habit of writing good grammar because there is nothing that irks me like the misuse of coordinating conjunctions. However, the word so is such a tricky little b.x.t.c.h!! It can be used in so many different ways. Anyways, I digress. I have decided to post my hair journey month by month, this way it doesn't get so overwhelming and I'll admit it, I'm not the best at updating my journal everyday, every month sounds like a decent bargain. To begin with, February was my big chop month, hence I'm going to count it as month one. This month was bitter sweet, it was hard adjusting to my TWA: tiny weeny afro. And my little brother did not miss the opportunity to tell me I looked like a boy every chance he got. What made this month sweet was the support I received from my family, both my mom and aunt loved my short SHORT hair, and this really replaced my bitter sentiments. I had to learn all the basics of natural hair care in this month, I felt like a child who had gone back to nursery school to learn her ABC's. I can really compare the feeling of this month with nursery school, because the more I looked at natural hair blogs, the more I felt so left out. All these women with natural black hair, where in the world had I been? Why had I not discovered this beauty before? I too, wanted to graduate to grade 1. To me, graduating to grade 1 equalled wearing my natural hair in a twist out. But I knew that I was going to work hard for this, that it was going to take time and patience, because in veracity, the best things in life comes to those who wait. Patience, became my number one object to cultivate. If I was going to go through this journey, I needed to have patient above all things.
Month ONE Pics...After BC- Big Chop.
(Note: I have no hair on my edges, thanks to years of weaving and wig-ing, but I'm on a mission to grow em back.).
Ok, because I was too uncomfortable with my hair this short, I decided to braid it with Kinky twist, these have become my most favorite protective style, they have the natural hair look and most importantly, I can still Co-wash my hair everyday or three days a week. I also deep condition my hair once a week, the kinky twist makes my hair journey so much easier. Love em'!
I use the Janet collection and they come in different colors! Love it? give it a try! Hate it? Don't bother.
You know what, I was going to start this post by SO...but I have decided to get into the habit of writing good grammar because there is nothing that irks me like the misuse of coordinating conjunctions. However, the word so is such a tricky little b.x.t.c.h!! It can be used in so many different ways. Anyways, I digress. I have decided to post my hair journey month by month, this way it doesn't get so overwhelming and I'll admit it, I'm not the best at updating my journal everyday, every month sounds like a decent bargain. To begin with, February was my big chop month, hence I'm going to count it as month one. This month was bitter sweet, it was hard adjusting to my TWA: tiny weeny afro. And my little brother did not miss the opportunity to tell me I looked like a boy every chance he got. What made this month sweet was the support I received from my family, both my mom and aunt loved my short SHORT hair, and this really replaced my bitter sentiments. I had to learn all the basics of natural hair care in this month, I felt like a child who had gone back to nursery school to learn her ABC's. I can really compare the feeling of this month with nursery school, because the more I looked at natural hair blogs, the more I felt so left out. All these women with natural black hair, where in the world had I been? Why had I not discovered this beauty before? I too, wanted to graduate to grade 1. To me, graduating to grade 1 equalled wearing my natural hair in a twist out. But I knew that I was going to work hard for this, that it was going to take time and patience, because in veracity, the best things in life comes to those who wait. Patience, became my number one object to cultivate. If I was going to go through this journey, I needed to have patient above all things.
Month ONE Pics...After BC- Big Chop.
Ok, because I was too uncomfortable with my hair this short, I decided to braid it with Kinky twist, these have become my most favorite protective style, they have the natural hair look and most importantly, I can still Co-wash my hair everyday or three days a week. I also deep condition my hair once a week, the kinky twist makes my hair journey so much easier. Love em'!
I use the Janet collection and they come in different colors! Love it? give it a try! Hate it? Don't bother.
Reflection- Affirmative Attitude.
Hello Beautiful.
So in ALL honesty, it's been over SIX months since my last post. I know, I know, what a slacker I am, but never without good reason. I did my last post in May and now its October and as usual me and my hair have gone through changes, we've seen the good, the bad and the ugly. To begin with, let me talk about my Journey a little bit. On February 4th 2012, I decided that enough was enough with my relaxed hair, the thinning, the split ends, the breakage, the dryness, I couldn't handle it anymore. And so without a second thought, I grabbed the scissors and chopped it all off. Now, prior to my big chop, I didn't know anything about natural hair. In fact, I didn't know I could wear my hair natural, it was like I was living in a parallel universe of wigs and weaves, a universe where natural hair is unheard of and unacceptable. I never thought that I could wear my hair the way God intended for it to be, natural hair was something I never contemplated until my hair reached a breaking point. There is this saying that says "Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle." I'm the type of a person that hates defeat and will always looks for an alternative. At this point, I felt like my hair had completed and utterly defeated me, I din't know what else to do with it. I had no love for it, hated it, despised it, believe it or not, my self esteem was at its lowest point. I didn't want anymore weaves, and I could not, would not go back to the creamy crack. So like a river, I decided to cut a new path, to look for another way out of my wigs and weaves parallel universe. I took to google, and not knowing what I was looking for, stumbled across Curlynikki.com website. At first glance, I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing and reading. CurlyNikki had beautiful hair, I clicked through her autobiography and my mind failed to accept what my eyes were seeing. You can have beautiful natural hair without a relaxer. All natural. I remember that day I called my mom and my aunt to come and see the gem I had discovered, and we were all in denial! There is no way a black girl can have beautiful curly hair, it just doesn't add up, how? eh? HOW?!! I once took a math class in college that involves deductive reasoning to solve a problem. Geometric proofs. If you've taken proofs, then you probably know that a proof must demonstrate that a statement is always true, it requires logic, not unproven theories. If black women can have naturally beautiful curly hair like Curly Nikki, I was determined to experiment with my own hair and prove that it can be true indeed. My quest for knowledge on natural hair led to me to many hours of researching and youtube-ing. I spent many sleepless nights reading about the "science of black hair". I spent hours in front of the mirror trying out different styles. I learned about co-washing, sealing, moisturizing, protective styling, sulfate free products, porosity, deep treatment, protein treatment. It was like a whole new universe of natural hair knowledge had opened up and swallowed me up whole. My quest for knowledge soon turned into an obsession, and I found myself buying different products, testing each and every one. Of course by this time I had to hide my product junkiesm fixation under the bathroom sink, because I had no way of explaining to my mom why i had three different types of unopened coconut oil bottles, five different types conditioners, three types of deep conditioners, two huge bottles of castor oil, avocado oil, mustard oil, vatikia oil, three bottles of hair gels, two bottles of leave in conditioner, Six packets of Henna, and two jars of mayonese. I became the true definition of a product Junkie, and the more I read about natural hair the more I wanted to go out and buy more products. Well, it's been 8 months now since I went natural, and although I must say that I have cut down on my product consumption, I find myself spending hours reading products labels at the beauty saloon. I tend to buy products based on reviews, but this doesn't always pan out well because what works well for some people doesn't necessarily work well on my hair. It has taken me 8 good months to learn my own hair, and although am still learning, I can most definitely say that the Proof, does indeed exist. Black girls can have naturaly beautiful curly hair, it's not a theory or a fad, it is an authentic validity of which I'm a living proof!
Later,
Roots4LiA.
So in ALL honesty, it's been over SIX months since my last post. I know, I know, what a slacker I am, but never without good reason. I did my last post in May and now its October and as usual me and my hair have gone through changes, we've seen the good, the bad and the ugly. To begin with, let me talk about my Journey a little bit. On February 4th 2012, I decided that enough was enough with my relaxed hair, the thinning, the split ends, the breakage, the dryness, I couldn't handle it anymore. And so without a second thought, I grabbed the scissors and chopped it all off. Now, prior to my big chop, I didn't know anything about natural hair. In fact, I didn't know I could wear my hair natural, it was like I was living in a parallel universe of wigs and weaves, a universe where natural hair is unheard of and unacceptable. I never thought that I could wear my hair the way God intended for it to be, natural hair was something I never contemplated until my hair reached a breaking point. There is this saying that says "Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle." I'm the type of a person that hates defeat and will always looks for an alternative. At this point, I felt like my hair had completed and utterly defeated me, I din't know what else to do with it. I had no love for it, hated it, despised it, believe it or not, my self esteem was at its lowest point. I didn't want anymore weaves, and I could not, would not go back to the creamy crack. So like a river, I decided to cut a new path, to look for another way out of my wigs and weaves parallel universe. I took to google, and not knowing what I was looking for, stumbled across Curlynikki.com website. At first glance, I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing and reading. CurlyNikki had beautiful hair, I clicked through her autobiography and my mind failed to accept what my eyes were seeing. You can have beautiful natural hair without a relaxer. All natural. I remember that day I called my mom and my aunt to come and see the gem I had discovered, and we were all in denial! There is no way a black girl can have beautiful curly hair, it just doesn't add up, how? eh? HOW?!! I once took a math class in college that involves deductive reasoning to solve a problem. Geometric proofs. If you've taken proofs, then you probably know that a proof must demonstrate that a statement is always true, it requires logic, not unproven theories. If black women can have naturally beautiful curly hair like Curly Nikki, I was determined to experiment with my own hair and prove that it can be true indeed. My quest for knowledge on natural hair led to me to many hours of researching and youtube-ing. I spent many sleepless nights reading about the "science of black hair". I spent hours in front of the mirror trying out different styles. I learned about co-washing, sealing, moisturizing, protective styling, sulfate free products, porosity, deep treatment, protein treatment. It was like a whole new universe of natural hair knowledge had opened up and swallowed me up whole. My quest for knowledge soon turned into an obsession, and I found myself buying different products, testing each and every one. Of course by this time I had to hide my product junkiesm fixation under the bathroom sink, because I had no way of explaining to my mom why i had three different types of unopened coconut oil bottles, five different types conditioners, three types of deep conditioners, two huge bottles of castor oil, avocado oil, mustard oil, vatikia oil, three bottles of hair gels, two bottles of leave in conditioner, Six packets of Henna, and two jars of mayonese. I became the true definition of a product Junkie, and the more I read about natural hair the more I wanted to go out and buy more products. Well, it's been 8 months now since I went natural, and although I must say that I have cut down on my product consumption, I find myself spending hours reading products labels at the beauty saloon. I tend to buy products based on reviews, but this doesn't always pan out well because what works well for some people doesn't necessarily work well on my hair. It has taken me 8 good months to learn my own hair, and although am still learning, I can most definitely say that the Proof, does indeed exist. Black girls can have naturaly beautiful curly hair, it's not a theory or a fad, it is an authentic validity of which I'm a living proof!
Later,
Roots4LiA.
Friday, May 25, 2012
TWA Update: Adventitious Experience.
Hi there!!
So it's been about three months since the last time I was here. A lot of life journey has happened. A lot of hair journey 'stuff' has also happened. If I start am afraid I could go on rambling about "stuff" forever, so am going to simply summarize these past three months then move on to the gritty stuff : hair. I was in Kenya for the past four weeks and dear, oh dear! the humidity killed me and my hair. Literally. Actually as much as I would love to talk about Kenya,(oh I miss it already!) am going to skip ahead and go to another chapter. Ah!, but before i skip a head let me share with you some pictures i took in Mombasa. I had my hair braided in Afro style using kinky braids. The lady obviously did a wonderful job because the comments I received were beyond amazing. Literally.
Mombasa in Kenya was A.W.E.S.O.M.E.
The past three months my hair journey has been bitter sweet. I wore my TWA for the first time around march, it was trial and error kind of thing. The funny thing is that I wasn't really sure how well or how confident I could pull out the TWA look, but what boosted up my confident was really the support I got from my aunts, especially my mom, family and friends in general. That day, with my first TWA, I felt liberated in a way. A lady I met at Macy's asked me if I was a model and wow! oh wow, was I just taken aback with surprise and smiles. She went on to tell me how much she loved my short hair and how i should keep it that short because it brings out my facial features. I was so alive at that moment, I mean I know am beautiful (not in a cocky over-confident what you are thinking type of way, we are all beautiful) but at that moment the lady's comment really made me embrace my short hair even more....anyways , skip one and a half month a head to Yesterday. Since my big chop on February 4th,the only two occasions I've worn my natural do is that day the lady commented on it, back in March, and yesterday, May 24th. The in between periods I've hidden my TWA in a protective style, kinky braids to be more specific.
Picture of my kinky braids. : Me in Kenya. Time. Of. My. Life!!
Going to the river to get water.
Lake Victoria. Mfangano Island.
Me on a boat going to Mfangano Island. An adventure to remember.
Yesterday I did my first Afro puff! I was really amazed to see how much my hair has grown. All the lies that says black hair doesn't grow, so not true. It grows! My hair can surely attest to this. But of course, with more growth comes more frustrations when it comes to styling and if you're not gifted with the hands to braid like me, the frustrations runs even deeper. Today in particular, after several SEVERAL hours of watching YouTube videos on how to do two strand flat-twist, I finally gave up because my hands can not master the art of braiding. I tried and tried, and as much as I was determined to learn, my disappointment of not being able to do it right,as you can imagine, was greater. So I gave up! (maybe in some near future I'll attempt it again, but for now it's a no no) Ok this post is getting really long so I'll stop here for now, plus I have to figure out if and how am going to wear my TWA tomorrow for church. Omg! I'm excited and scared at the same time, it's going to be the third time am wearing my TWA out! Ha! I actually keep count on how many occasions I've rocked my TWA, but maybe this is going to change soon. I might just say fxck it and rock my kinky coils every single day...oh, I'm still rambling.
I'm truly happy with my natural hair and can't think of any reason why I would want to say I miss the creamy crack. Here's a look back to memory lane...my relaxed days...
No. I don't miss the creamy crack. Can't believe i had it for, well, over 15 years.
Later Chicas.
So it's been about three months since the last time I was here. A lot of life journey has happened. A lot of hair journey 'stuff' has also happened. If I start am afraid I could go on rambling about "stuff" forever, so am going to simply summarize these past three months then move on to the gritty stuff : hair. I was in Kenya for the past four weeks and dear, oh dear! the humidity killed me and my hair. Literally. Actually as much as I would love to talk about Kenya,(oh I miss it already!) am going to skip ahead and go to another chapter. Ah!, but before i skip a head let me share with you some pictures i took in Mombasa. I had my hair braided in Afro style using kinky braids. The lady obviously did a wonderful job because the comments I received were beyond amazing. Literally.
Picture of my kinky braids. : Me in Kenya. Time. Of. My. Life!!
Yesterday I did my first Afro puff! I was really amazed to see how much my hair has grown. All the lies that says black hair doesn't grow, so not true. It grows! My hair can surely attest to this. But of course, with more growth comes more frustrations when it comes to styling and if you're not gifted with the hands to braid like me, the frustrations runs even deeper. Today in particular, after several SEVERAL hours of watching YouTube videos on how to do two strand flat-twist, I finally gave up because my hands can not master the art of braiding. I tried and tried, and as much as I was determined to learn, my disappointment of not being able to do it right,as you can imagine, was greater. So I gave up! (maybe in some near future I'll attempt it again, but for now it's a no no) Ok this post is getting really long so I'll stop here for now, plus I have to figure out if and how am going to wear my TWA tomorrow for church. Omg! I'm excited and scared at the same time, it's going to be the third time am wearing my TWA out! Ha! I actually keep count on how many occasions I've rocked my TWA, but maybe this is going to change soon. I might just say fxck it and rock my kinky coils every single day...oh, I'm still rambling.
I'm truly happy with my natural hair and can't think of any reason why I would want to say I miss the creamy crack. Here's a look back to memory lane...my relaxed days...
No. I don't miss the creamy crack. Can't believe i had it for, well, over 15 years.
Later Chicas.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Leisurely Composure
Between work and everything else that is Life, I haven't had much time to journal my natural hair progress. It's 3 in the AM and don't know why am still awake but I just am, so I thought why not post something since sleep doesn't seem to want me. After doing my big chop, I decided that the easiest way for me to work with my natural hair as it grows is to braid it. I also decided that I'm NEVER putting a weave on my hair again, I've developed a habit where I constantly want to touch my hair and rub my scalp; and putting a weave on my head would be like death sentence to my hair! Anyways, Wigs and Braids, are my best hair's best friend at the moment.
On February 11th, My wonderful mommy braided my hair. I was going for an "afro look". I bought the Janet collection and really really was going for something like this:
When I saw this pic I fell in love with her hair! I'm a fun of BIG HAIR! I'm used to wearing full head weaves and even wigs! There's something about the "Voluminousity" that really speaks to me. Anyways, my hair came out something similar to hers, and I loved it! :
The first few days; I loved it...After one week, I didn't.
The volume was too much! too much! It became difficult to manage and I could barely fit my satin sleeping cap on. I couldn't do any styles really because well, the hair was just too much. I had to tame it somehow and that's when I decided to twist the ends! The idea was brilliant! I twisted the ends but let the front, which gave me the option to do different styles for a bang. I've been getting so much good compliments!
So... even with braids on, I still wash my hair and condition it every week! I do hot oil treatment with Mustard oil. I love it. It gives a tingling sensation every time I apply it before my co-wash. I usually heat it up on the microwave for about 30 seconds before applying. I leave it on for the whole night and the next day before washing it off, I skip ahead and just apply deep conditioner to my hair. I wet my hair a bit with water using my spritz bottle. I used eggs once but I didn't like it because even after thoroughly spending an hour in the bathroom rinsing off my hair, the egg kinda of got stuck inside the braid and didn't want to wash off. So no eggs on my hair when it's braided. After deep conditioning, I co wash with my aloe vera conditioner and clarify with some apple cider vinegar. My hair feels amazing afterwards! So soft!
My plan is to have the braids in for a month, then take them out and let my hair breathe for two weeks then put new braids again...so far, so good!
I came across Flax seeds, and to make long story short, I've been incorporating ground flax seed every day to my diet. The benefits of Flax seed is Colossal. It's like killing a thousand birds with one stone...you get the idea. As for the exercise, I'll keep you updated when I finally join the gym.
In other news again: I've decided to give the Six week lent a try. I've never done it before, so I wanted to try it this time around.
Since you're suppose to give up some things you love for lent, I've decided that for six weeks, am not going to eat chicken or any fast food! It's been week one, and I stumbled and almost fell completely. My brother came home with Mcdonalds and handed me the chicken nuggets, I fought so hard not to even look at it, but my appetite finally caved in and I took a small bite. There are still 5 weeks remaining...I shall not let temptations overcome me!.
Update: The lent was an Epic Fail. Couldn't make it past the first week.
So... even with braids on, I still wash my hair and condition it every week! I do hot oil treatment with Mustard oil. I love it. It gives a tingling sensation every time I apply it before my co-wash. I usually heat it up on the microwave for about 30 seconds before applying. I leave it on for the whole night and the next day before washing it off, I skip ahead and just apply deep conditioner to my hair. I wet my hair a bit with water using my spritz bottle. I used eggs once but I didn't like it because even after thoroughly spending an hour in the bathroom rinsing off my hair, the egg kinda of got stuck inside the braid and didn't want to wash off. So no eggs on my hair when it's braided. After deep conditioning, I co wash with my aloe vera conditioner and clarify with some apple cider vinegar. My hair feels amazing afterwards! So soft!
My plan is to have the braids in for a month, then take them out and let my hair breathe for two weeks then put new braids again...so far, so good!
I came across Flax seeds, and to make long story short, I've been incorporating ground flax seed every day to my diet. The benefits of Flax seed is Colossal. It's like killing a thousand birds with one stone...you get the idea. As for the exercise, I'll keep you updated when I finally join the gym.
In other news again: I've decided to give the Six week lent a try. I've never done it before, so I wanted to try it this time around.
Since you're suppose to give up some things you love for lent, I've decided that for six weeks, am not going to eat chicken or any fast food! It's been week one, and I stumbled and almost fell completely. My brother came home with Mcdonalds and handed me the chicken nuggets, I fought so hard not to even look at it, but my appetite finally caved in and I took a small bite. There are still 5 weeks remaining...I shall not let temptations overcome me!.
Update: The lent was an Epic Fail. Couldn't make it past the first week.
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